Yakko: "There are fifty thousand different kinds of animals
And there are fifty thousand more that used to be.
There's a hundred million ants
and half a billion plants
and a lot of fish down underneath the sea!
There's gotta be a couple million spiders.
A hundred-fifty million butterflies and bees
And a bunch of different mammals
like those elephants and camels
and approximately fifty billion trees!!"

YW: "But there is only one of you that makes you special!
You stand out among the other things; it's true!!"
YWD: "Yes, the universe is large
and whoever is in charge!
Made lots of things, but only one of you!!"

Yakko: "Oh, a one, a two, a three, and a four!
A thousand and a million and a billion or more!
There's a trillion drops of water in the ocean
and a billion trillion molecules of air!
There are insects here en masse
and a trillion blades of grass
and a thousand strands in every head of hair!
A lot of little grains of dirt make up this planet!
A billion atoms on the head of every pin!
A million birds that all can fly,
a trillion stars up in the sky
and all the many different people there have been!"

YW: "But there is only one of you, that makes you special!
Yes, there is nothing else exactly like you are!!"
YWD: "'Cause you're unique and you're terrific
and you're kind of real specific,
'cause there's no one else the same
as the person you became!"
Wakko: "In fact, you're kind of weird!"
Yakko: "But we like you just the same!!"
YWD: "'Cause you're the only one of you there are!!!
Dabadum, dabadum, dabadubà!"

YW: "If she's not everything that we've said,
then may lightning strike us dead!!"
(rumble, zap!)
YW: "Hellooo Nurse!!!
Mwah!!!"

Yakko: "What are you doing, Wakko?"
Wakko: "I'm writing a letter a Santa, telling him what I want for Christmas!"
Yakko: "Wait a minute -- hold the phone! That's not how you spell `Santa!"
Wakko: "It isn't?"
Yakko: "Nooo! You've got it all wrong!"
Wakko: "Well, how do you spell it, then?"

Yakko: "To spell Santa's name
is easy to do!
You write S-A-N-T
and another A, too!
But no L, no L,
Santa's name has no L
and he won't be too pleased
if you don't learn to spell!"

Wakko: "Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch water from a well,
but when neither one could find it
Jill started to yell!"
Dot: "No well, no well!!
Can't believe there's no well!
We walked all the way here
and I'm mad, can't you tell!!"

Yakko: "Captain Ahab took his crew,
his harpoon and set sail
and he called out to ships..."
Ahab: "Have you seen the white whale?"
Crew: "No whale, no whale!!
No, we ain't seen no whale,!"
Man1: "Saw a couple of dolphins!"
Man2: "...and a big yellowtail!!"

YWD: "If you've listened to this tune,
then you probably can tell
that you've heard it before
it's a song you know well!
Know well, know well!
It's a song you know well!
And we've ruined it completely
so we all say, "Oh well."!
Oh well, oh well...
We'll just say, "Fare thee well"!
Merry Christmas to you and a joyous Noël.

Dot: "Dough, some cash, a wad of cash!"
Yakko: "Ray, a guy who fixes cars!"
Wakko: "Me, the one who takes out the trash!"
YWD: "Far, the distance to the stars!"
Yakko: "So, a word that goes with «well»"
Dot: "LA, a city where we dwell!"
Wakko: "Tea, with honey it tastes swell"
YW: "And that brings us back to..."
Dot: "...dough!"

Yakko: "U.N. me, we had a bag of fun,
down by the East Riverside,
that United Nations there
drives away a fella's care,
183 countries meet
down by the East Riverside
New York, off 42nd Street"

Wakko: "See foreign states with a grudge,
down by the East Riverside,
United Nations tries to fix
wars, famine, and oil slicks
Boutros Boutros Ghali-gee,
down by the East Riverside
leads the General Assembly"

Dot: "The gift shop will take traveler's checks,
down by the East Riverside,
German tourists were not rare,
buying T-shirts and flatware
ate pastry from Liberia,
down by the East Riverside
at the U.N. cafeteria!"

YWD: "Took a tour with some Dutch,
down by the East Riverside,
we had a guide from Japan,
who had a decent pension plan,
saw costly artwork from Brazil
down by the East Riverside
on which my soda I did spill!

U.N. me, we had a bag of fun,
down by the East Riverside,
saw flags on shiny poles
from lands with lofty goals,
we'll beat our swords into liverwurst,
down by the East Riverside
but no one wants to be the first!"

YWD: "But then I guess it could be worse!"
Wakko: "We could still sing one more verse"
YWD: "U.N. me!"

Yakko: "In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak,
it's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week,
it's found inside Variety, a magazine they use..."
YD  : "...and no one understands it when they read the movie news!"

Yakko: "Like «Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix», means someone made a movie that bombed
«The veeps in charge are now at large», means everyone involved is gone
«The plot conflix, no beautiful chix» so it's coming out on video soon
They're «taking their lix», 'cause the critics say «nix» and the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix"

Dot: "But the «stock sees green» on page thirteen..."
Yakko: "...means Disney's up a nickel a share!"
Dot: "«Stallone cuts deal for a major reel»..."
Yakko: "...means Rocky number six, so beware"

DY: "If you want the «poop»
or you need the «scoop»
on Hollywood town this week,
you're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!"

Girls: "Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!"

Yakko: "«A boffo smash makes Warner cash», means there's gonna be a sequel next year,
but «Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts», means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear,
«Oliver Stone does next Home Alone» means he's getting paid an arm and a leg
The budget goes «crunch», but his name «packs punch»
so they called up the accountants and they're gonna «do lunch»!"

Dot: "Well, the «ratings smile» on the O.J. trial..."
Yakko: "...means a movie of the week to premiere..."
Dot: "...«Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel»..."
Yakko: "...to do a hundred thousand movies a year!
You gotta play it smart,
if you wanna be part of the crowd that's hip and chic..."
YWD :"...you're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!"

Girls: "Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!"

Yakko: "Normal talk makes producers walk,
you might as well speak Greek,
you're gonna have to learn..."
Wakko: "...or the meeting will adjourn..."
YWD : "Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak!!"

Girls: "Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!"

YWD: "Bah-doop-bah-doop-bah-doop-bahhh-dah!"

MissFlamiel: "Yakko..."
Yakko: "Yes, Miss Flamiel?"
MissFlamiel: "I want you to multiply 47 times 83"

Yakko: "Seven times three is twenty-one,
which as you know is just two tens plus one
and so we put the one right here
and we carry the two one left
to the top of the ten's place right next door
and we put it on top of the number four,
which is really four tens that we multiply
times three in the one's place, and that's why
we now have twelve, which we add to the two
that we carried to get fourteen.

See how easy that was?

Oh ho, it's multiplication,
it's math education,
hey, Albert Einstein said that it's so easy to do!
It's simple, it's breezy,
it's fun and it's easy,
just buy a calculator, you can multiply too!

And now, the second digit...

Seven times eight is fifty-six
which as you know is just five tens plus six
and so we put the six right here
in the ten's place, left of the one!
Carry the five, like we did before
to the top of the ten's place, next to the four,
then multiply that four times eight
to get thirty-two, see isn't this great?
Then we add the five that we carried before
to get thirty-seven, then add once more
straight down to get three thousand, nine hundred and one!

Isn't this swell?

Oh, let's give multiplication,
a standing ovation
Isaac Newton multiplied a couple times, too
Times two, times two, times two!
It's simple, it's breezy,
it's fun and it's easy,
so buy a calculator,
and study this stuff later,
maybe, someday, you can multiply numbers too
Three, four, five...

Recess!!!"

YWD: "Whatever made them think that this could be a show?
Six trendies on a couch just drinking cups of joe!
They lead such boring lives
but never fear,
because we're moving in for a month,
maybe a year!!
Oh! We won't never leave!
No, you can't throw us out!
We won't ever leave!
You can scream, you can shout!!
We won't ever leave
our new acquaintances!!"